Breathe in - Breathe out!

Things That Went Right Today:

1) Went for a run on a cool morning.
2) The sound of my little boys laughing in the other room.
3) Mint and chocolate together.


All this talk about counting your blessings...focusing on the positive...being happy and full of faith no matter what...Loving unconditionally....It only works for people who have no real problems right? I must talk like this because I've never really known suffering. If I had been through any actual hard stuff I would feel differently right? That's an easy way to think sometimes when we are hurting. That no one else could possibly understand what we are going through. That our particular problems are too big to just "think positive" and make them go away. That all those happy people out there wouldn't be if they had experienced what we have.

I'm here today to promise you that gratitude is for everyone. In fact, the bigger your problems are the more power it is likely to have in your life. The more of a compelling force it can become and the more of a healing balm it can be.

I am no stranger to pain. My parents divorced when I was young and I had a very abusive step father for ten years. Thankfully now my Mom is married to a wonderful, kind, loving man, but those years were rough.  I have seen addiction and alcohol slowly destroy many people that I love. Currently I am in the middle of some extremely difficult personal circumstances. Both physically and emotionally. I don't talk about them much, because I am making the CHOICE to let thankful living be the driving force in my heart, and therefore in my life. It is a daily decision to turn toward the positive and embrace joy. Some days it is easier to accomplish that than others. There are mornings when I wake up wondering how I am going to do it that day. Being a grateful person doesn't mean you never cry. It doesn't mean you never feel sorry for yourself or have a tantrum. It doesn't mean you never get overwhelmed, or upset, or angry, or make mistakes or say the wrong thing. It doesn't mean you never feel doubt or fear. It doesn't mean you go into denial about the reality of people or situations, and just hum a happy tune to cover them over. Thankful living is far more than that. It is about truly changing your heart. Creating the tools you need to overcome hardship with strength and dignity. To stand back up whenever you fall down, and then turn and lift others as well. To keep trying when you want to quit. To say, "I'm sorry" when you mess up, and offer forgiveness too.  It's about learning to tap into your own inner voice that speaks with calmness and faith. To remain vulnerable rather than put up walls. To see the rainbows instead of just the rain.  It's about accepting that pain is a universal part of the human condition. It touches everyone. We cannot deny that or completely avoid it. The trick in this life is to learn to live through it. To love through it. To laugh through it too. The problems will exist whether we laugh or cry. So why not laugh?

Some days the stars just align and all goes well. Gratitude springs from within us easily on days like these. But what about the times when everything feels wrong? How do you choose gratitude on a day like that? What about if you are injured, or heartbroken, or exhausted, or facing severe challenges? What about the days when you cannot think of anything that went right at all?

Stop and pause for moment. Clear your mind. Breathe in - breathe out. Go outside and feel the sun on your face if you can. Listen to the sounds of nature. Drink in the beauty around you. What if it's cloudy? Find someone you love and give them a hug then. But what if you're alone? What if...what if...what if...what if all you can do is breathe? Then just do that. In and out. Deep breaths. Calming your spirit. Don't think about anything at all for a time. Tomorrow is another day. Today just breathe in - breathe out. Be still. In that stillness clarity comes. Don't try to force gratitude. Be still and let it come to you. In that quiet state, focusing on simply breathing, answers will come. Happy thoughts will suddenly surprise you.  Hope will dawn. Patience and peace too. Just breathe and let thankfulness flow in on its own. This gets easier every time you do it.  I promise.