Things that went right today:
1) Lilies have all opened now on my kitchen bouquet
2) Swim team awards banquet tonight
3) Friend made me brownies yesterday
I was in a bit of a mood this morning. Possibly because of the mid life crisis I am having (yes I am finally copping to it). As I looked in the mirror I decided I missed the days of big hair. Seriously. Why did that look go out anyway? It was flattering to most faces and so very girly and feminine. Ok I know it took forever to style and required obscene amounts of hairspray, but at least your "do" stayed intact in a windstorm right? On an impulse I pulled out my old set of hot rollers. It took awhile to free it from the back of the cabinet where it had been buried for so long, but I prevailed and fired it up with a smile. I admit I was a little rusty putting in the rollers. I kept stabbing myself in the head with the holders and burned my ears a few times, but was undaunted in my quest to return to the look of my youth. After removing the rollers and brushing it out though things unfortunately did not go as well as I had hoped. The curls were bouncing all over the place and refused to be contained. I looked more like a circus clown than the sexy young thing I had been envisioning. Or a smidge like a 1970's Clairol commercial. The giggles overtook me as I tried to figure out how to salvage the situation before I had to go out in public. It wasn't easy. It involved lots and lots and lots of brushing it straighter, and ultimately a claw clip to pull it back and hide the damage. What had gone wrong anyway? I fixed my hair that way for years. Why didn't it work like it used to? Did the big hair thing just not work as well on a 41 year old woman? Or was I just out of practice and put the rollers in wrong? Had I just become so accustomed to smaller sleeker hair that my brain could no longer accept the massive bonnet effect I had going on? Not sure. Perhaps it is just a natural fact in the universe that you can never really go back, and those days have passed me by forever? Sigh. Maybe I will give it another try tomorrow. I swear I saw huge hair in a magazine the other day so it could be making a replay and I would love to stay ahead of the curve instead of a decade behind like usual. Today I am thankful for the memories of big hair and the younger version of me who proudly wore it. I am also thankful for the simple 5 minute prep style I sport currently. Because honestly who has time for big hair anymore anyway? I guess I am still going to keep practicing in secret though - just in case.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Bucket list
Things that went right today:
1) Schools are back open and on time!
2) Friend coming to visit this morning.
3) Sweethearts candies.
I have been pondering a lot lately on life and death. Maybe it's because we've had three family members hospitalized recently? Several friend's have suffered losses this year and I have grieved with them so perhaps that is the reason? Could be that this is simply what a mid-life crisis feels like (gasp!)? Not sure, but in any case the reality of my own mortality has been on my mind as of late. Not in a depressing way. I'm not obsessing or anything. But more in an inspirational way. Recognizing the beauty and wonder of the life I have to live here. Realizing that I do not know when my end will come, and that there are so many amazing things to experience that I don't want to miss out on. I would hate to put them off until later only to find out that there is no later after all. I loved the movie "Last Holiday" where Queen Latifah's character thinks she is dying so she stops being conservative and does all of the adventurous things she had always dreamed of. What did she have to lose right? In the process she discovered what real living was truly about. Or the movie "The Bucket List" that had a similar theme, but with elderly men who decided it was never to late to get out and live life to the fullest. Isn't that what we were put here to do? As far as I am aware we only have one chance at life here on earth. It is up to us to decide how to direct our days. Which experiences are most valuable to us personally. What opportunities we will regret if we let them pass us by. So I sat down today and wrote down on paper my own personal "Bucket List" (things I want to do before I kick the bucket).
1) Visit every continent
2) Visit every state including all of the Hawaiian islands
3) Learn to play the piano
4) Earn a black belt in karate
5) Run a marathon
6) Write a book
7) Earn my medallion
8) Take every child on a graduation trip
9) See all of my church temples
10) Read every word of the scriptures
11) Complete the family scrapbooks
12) Serve as a missionary
13) Place flowers on my grandparents graves in Canada
14) See a play on Broadway
15) Fit into a size 6 again
I fully expect this list to evolve over time. Some I will accomplish. Some I will decide were not that important to me after all. Some will be replaced by new goals I learn about. Others will be most meaningful in the attempt rather than the fulfillment. I have had other dreams that are not listed, because I have already crossed them off. They made me who I am today. And I have a few other personal goals that are not in print here, but rather embedded in my heart. I am excited to tackle these next plans in this new phase of life I am entering now. There are many adventures contained above. Successes and laughter and hard work and loving service. Self discovery. It infuses me with energy just seeing the list in front of me. Life is so good and exciting and vibrant if we jump in with both feet and choose to really live. I am thankful today for my time here on this earth. I want to make as much of it as I can for as long as I am privileged to be here. This is my list. Everyone's will be different. Take a minute and write down your bucket list today. You'll be glad you did.
1) Schools are back open and on time!
2) Friend coming to visit this morning.
3) Sweethearts candies.
I have been pondering a lot lately on life and death. Maybe it's because we've had three family members hospitalized recently? Several friend's have suffered losses this year and I have grieved with them so perhaps that is the reason? Could be that this is simply what a mid-life crisis feels like (gasp!)? Not sure, but in any case the reality of my own mortality has been on my mind as of late. Not in a depressing way. I'm not obsessing or anything. But more in an inspirational way. Recognizing the beauty and wonder of the life I have to live here. Realizing that I do not know when my end will come, and that there are so many amazing things to experience that I don't want to miss out on. I would hate to put them off until later only to find out that there is no later after all. I loved the movie "Last Holiday" where Queen Latifah's character thinks she is dying so she stops being conservative and does all of the adventurous things she had always dreamed of. What did she have to lose right? In the process she discovered what real living was truly about. Or the movie "The Bucket List" that had a similar theme, but with elderly men who decided it was never to late to get out and live life to the fullest. Isn't that what we were put here to do? As far as I am aware we only have one chance at life here on earth. It is up to us to decide how to direct our days. Which experiences are most valuable to us personally. What opportunities we will regret if we let them pass us by. So I sat down today and wrote down on paper my own personal "Bucket List" (things I want to do before I kick the bucket).
1) Visit every continent
2) Visit every state including all of the Hawaiian islands
3) Learn to play the piano
4) Earn a black belt in karate
5) Run a marathon
6) Write a book
7) Earn my medallion
8) Take every child on a graduation trip
9) See all of my church temples
10) Read every word of the scriptures
11) Complete the family scrapbooks
12) Serve as a missionary
13) Place flowers on my grandparents graves in Canada
14) See a play on Broadway
15) Fit into a size 6 again
I fully expect this list to evolve over time. Some I will accomplish. Some I will decide were not that important to me after all. Some will be replaced by new goals I learn about. Others will be most meaningful in the attempt rather than the fulfillment. I have had other dreams that are not listed, because I have already crossed them off. They made me who I am today. And I have a few other personal goals that are not in print here, but rather embedded in my heart. I am excited to tackle these next plans in this new phase of life I am entering now. There are many adventures contained above. Successes and laughter and hard work and loving service. Self discovery. It infuses me with energy just seeing the list in front of me. Life is so good and exciting and vibrant if we jump in with both feet and choose to really live. I am thankful today for my time here on this earth. I want to make as much of it as I can for as long as I am privileged to be here. This is my list. Everyone's will be different. Take a minute and write down your bucket list today. You'll be glad you did.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Olympics
Things that went right today:
1) In the 40's today. The big thaw begins.
2) Daughter got her learner's permit.
3) Son's relay team earned a medal at the state high school swim meet.
This week the Winter Olympics are on. We've enjoyed gathering together as a family to witness incredible feats of skill and contests of will. I had the privilege as a teenager to attend a few Olympic events when the games were held in Los Angeles. I will never forget the thrill and electric energy in the room when the USA won an event. The roar of the crowd was deafening and it was nearly impossible not to get caught up in the moment and feel proud to be an American. Most of us do not personally know these athletes, but yet we feel a connection to them somehow. What is it about the games that so inspires us?
Perhaps it is the chance to live vicariously. Many of these sports are beyond our personal limits either physically, geographically, or financially. Most of us in truth lead rather ordinary lives. We have neither the time nor the inclination to go to the extreme lengths required to become the absolute top achievers in the events of our lives. The courage and sacrifice these athletes demonstrate to reach such levels is hard to understand really. What drives them to put off school or marriage? To deny themselves social lives. To spend so much money and often move away from parents and friends? To push their bodies to the limits. To suffer injuries and pain and demoralizing defeat sometimes. And then pick themselves up and go back for more. I'm not sure what motivates certain people to reach so high while the rest of us are content with average. But I am so glad they do. Because when I watch them beat the odds, overcome the obstacles, and make their dreams come true it brings me joy! It gives me a little borrowed courage to maybe try something that feels impossible for me currently. If they can do it maybe I can too right? It reminds me of how powerful the human spirit can truly be. That when we have faith and match that with hard work amazing things can happen. As the gold medal is placed around another woman's neck I dig in to find the will to take a baby step of my own. My future marathon may begin today with a tentative run around the block. As the tears roll down that young man's face when he receives the reward for all of his years of effort, I sense the importance of the little things I do each day that are building toward larger goals. And I discover the strength inside to press onward too. These athletes remind us that greatness really can be attained. They open a window to the best of ourselves and encourage us to let it shine. Even in their defeat they display grace and determination and good sportsmanship. Often these losses reveal to us their hearts and their characters and teach us the greatest lessons of all. It is not just about winning so much as about testing the boundaries of human potential and the love of the sport. Oh that we could all live each day with that much passion. I am thankful today for these amazing athletes and the gifts they give to the world. The gifts of example, national pride and the fun of the game.
1) In the 40's today. The big thaw begins.
2) Daughter got her learner's permit.
3) Son's relay team earned a medal at the state high school swim meet.
This week the Winter Olympics are on. We've enjoyed gathering together as a family to witness incredible feats of skill and contests of will. I had the privilege as a teenager to attend a few Olympic events when the games were held in Los Angeles. I will never forget the thrill and electric energy in the room when the USA won an event. The roar of the crowd was deafening and it was nearly impossible not to get caught up in the moment and feel proud to be an American. Most of us do not personally know these athletes, but yet we feel a connection to them somehow. What is it about the games that so inspires us?
Perhaps it is the chance to live vicariously. Many of these sports are beyond our personal limits either physically, geographically, or financially. Most of us in truth lead rather ordinary lives. We have neither the time nor the inclination to go to the extreme lengths required to become the absolute top achievers in the events of our lives. The courage and sacrifice these athletes demonstrate to reach such levels is hard to understand really. What drives them to put off school or marriage? To deny themselves social lives. To spend so much money and often move away from parents and friends? To push their bodies to the limits. To suffer injuries and pain and demoralizing defeat sometimes. And then pick themselves up and go back for more. I'm not sure what motivates certain people to reach so high while the rest of us are content with average. But I am so glad they do. Because when I watch them beat the odds, overcome the obstacles, and make their dreams come true it brings me joy! It gives me a little borrowed courage to maybe try something that feels impossible for me currently. If they can do it maybe I can too right? It reminds me of how powerful the human spirit can truly be. That when we have faith and match that with hard work amazing things can happen. As the gold medal is placed around another woman's neck I dig in to find the will to take a baby step of my own. My future marathon may begin today with a tentative run around the block. As the tears roll down that young man's face when he receives the reward for all of his years of effort, I sense the importance of the little things I do each day that are building toward larger goals. And I discover the strength inside to press onward too. These athletes remind us that greatness really can be attained. They open a window to the best of ourselves and encourage us to let it shine. Even in their defeat they display grace and determination and good sportsmanship. Often these losses reveal to us their hearts and their characters and teach us the greatest lessons of all. It is not just about winning so much as about testing the boundaries of human potential and the love of the sport. Oh that we could all live each day with that much passion. I am thankful today for these amazing athletes and the gifts they give to the world. The gifts of example, national pride and the fun of the game.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Flying the coop
Things that went right today:
1) My son got accepted to the college he wanted to go to.
2) Got a ton of de-cluttering done...feels so good.
3) LOST is on tonight! We are obsessed with that show.
My son found out today that he got accepted to the University of his choice. He is so excited and his announcement had us all cheering and hugging. He will be living in a safe environment. Great school. The same school his father, myself and his older brother have attended. He will be near his grandparents, cousins and aunts and uncles and will have sunday dinners with them. It's all good and wonderful. So why is there a lump in my throat and a tug in my heart?
I suppose it is because it means he will be leaving soon. And not just down the street to a friend's house to play. Really leaving. To the other side of the country. It helps that I have lived there myself and can picture the places he will be. Some. It helps that we have discovered Skype so we will be able to see his face when we talk to him on Sunday evenings. But what about when I want to hug him? It helps that I know what a mature and responsible young man he is. I know he will be doing good things. I know that he will be exactly where he should be. I know he will learn so many important things and make wonderful lifelong friends. I know he will be safe. I know we will see him at Christmas break. I know he will be having a ton of fun. Most of all I know that he is ready. More than ready. He has always had a wisdom beyond his years and abilities that amaze me. He will tackle this new challenge with the same creativity and adaptability that he has exhibited all of his life. I know he will thrive. But is it selfish of me to admit that even though I know he is ready...maybe I am not? I am thinking of the little boy who used to curl my hair around his finger while I read him bedtime stories. And the curly brown hair that I let grow way too long because I could not bear to cut it. He was my sweet little shadow. Never let me get too far out of sight. And what about the hours and hours and hours spent watching (and volunteering at) diving, karate, soccer, basketball, and football games while he was younger? And then swimming, cross country and track in recent years. Will I ever time a swim meet again? I loved being a den mother and room mother. I love being his mother in every way. Does he know this? Does he really know?
I have been so proud watching him earn sports and art awards. His eagle scout award. Delighted at his good choices to be baptized, to serve his community, to have the courage to start a business on his own and the ingenuity to make it a success. I miss some things that drove me crazy at the time. Like the camping stoves that he discovered he could make out of tuna cans (and soup cans and well..pretty much anything) I was convinced he would burn the house down but he never did. And the way he climbed everything from the bookshelves to the door frames. He was our little monkey.
I watched him go through braces and glasses...and heartbreak caused by me when I made him move to a new home halfway through highschool. He was angry, but he forgave me anyway. And characteristically jumped in and made the best of a difficult situation. That's just the way he is.
Have I taught him everything he needs to know? Will he be lonely? Does he know that his mother believes in God with all of her heart? Have I imparted enough of that faith to him so he can feel comforted and guided out there on his own? Does he know that even from afar he will be in my prayers every single day and in my heart every minute? Does he know that I would give my life for him? He is a quiet soul. I don't always know what is on his mind like I do with some of my other children. I suddenly feel time is very short and I hope I have done and said all that I should have.
I am so very happy for him. I would not change this if I could. The time is right. He needs to spread his wings now and fly to the next phase of his life. It will be exciting to see it all unfold for him. It is just as it should be. Knowing he will not be at our Thanksgiving table feels wrong on one level but deep in my heart I know it is very very right. I love this boy and will love watching him grow into the man he is destined to be. Time to get ready Mommy. The chick is about the fly the coop. I am grateful today for the opportunity to be a mother. And for my son. Congratulations sweetie!!! You're gonna love it!!!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Chocolate
1) Valentine's day. I am a sucker for holidays. Even the overly commercial ones.
2) Beautiful bouquet of flowers on the table from my sweetheart
3) Recovering more each day from my surgery. I feel half human again.
For Valentine's Day my husband sent me flowers and chocolate, just as he has for most of the 23 Valentine's Days we have known each other. And just as in all of those previous years they made me blissfully happy. It would seem that over time something like that would get old, but yet it never does. Chocolate is one of life's few constants I think...it never fails to bring us joy! Seriously. Now don't get me wrong I am not addicted or anything. I just like it. Ok I like it a LOT, but I could stop if I ever wanted to. I could. But why would I want to? It comes in so many wonderful varieties and all of them make me smile. Just in this one box I have found caramel filled ones, orange and strawberry creams, and nut clusters for that added crunch. The toffee ones make me swoon and the butter creams are a bit like what I know heaven must be like. On a day when life is feeling rather drab and ordinary, a Toblerone bar can take me to Europe. They really know how to do chocolate over there don't they? While sitting through a movie what is better than munching on delectable chocolates? Junior mints are perfect for the funny ones. Rolos for the scary ones. Heath bars for the action films. And what suits a romance more than dove chocolates? M & M's are always good. Regular and peanut both. They are so versatile. As are Snickers, which in my humble opinion are the ultimate chocolate bars. Except perhaps for those new bite sized Ghirardelli chocolate squares. Having grown up near San Francisco those connect me to my roots right? So they are important. I have many fond memories of visiting Ghirardelli square and of the intoxicating smell of melted chocolate that filled the air. Ahhhh that was great! Oh and how could I not mention Reeses? I am not sure who ever thought to pair chocolate with peanut butter in the first place, but I feel deeply in their debt. Chocolate, in addition to deliciousness, seems to have the power to calm the troubled heart. On a "blue" day a bowl of ice cream can make the world seem a little brighter can't it? Come on now, you know it's true. And date night is even more fun when sharing a brownie sundae with hot fudge sauce. My mind is racing now as I think of all of the chocolate loves of my life...Butterfingers, Milky Way, Twix, chocolate oranges at christmas, and the ever popular Girl Scout thin mint cookies. What is it that makes those so darn good anyway? I could seriously eat a whole sleeve of those in one sitting (Not that I actually would of course...well ok maybe I have which is how I know I can? I'll never tell)
It has just now occurred to me that perhaps I AM addicted after all? Oh dear. I am mildly alarmed at this realization, but have to be honest and admit that I don't intend to reform too soon . Hot chocolate on a snowy day makes me feel all cozy and warm inside, and we are having record snowfall this year. So in a way it is medicinal right? I will see if I can change in the Spring. But not until after Easter. I need at least one more Cadbury egg in this lifetime. For today I am grateful for chocolate. And for my Valentine who gave me some. Thanks honey! Kisses to you (no not just the chocolate kind). Love you!
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