Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Burned popcorn

Things that went right today:

1) Got a new microwave! (see below)
2) Finally figured out how to program the new high tech microwave (I am technologically challenged so this is a huge thing for me)
3) Think I am finally about done with change of address phone calls. Yeah. Who knew we were connected to so many people, places, and things?


I walked into the kitchen today to see smoke billowing profusely from the microwave in the corner. It filled the room more rapidly than imaginable and burned our eyes and throats. The children all had to go outside because it was making them sick and dizzy. Turns out that my sweet daughter was trying to help her brother make some microwave popcorn and did not fully understand how to use the microwave at the new house. She accidentally set the timer for 30 minutes instead of three. Whoops. We spent the next few hours trying to get the smoke smell out of the house, but smoke is insidious and gets into everything. It will be a long time I think before there is not a slight popcorn smell that greets you when you enter our home. Nice! But as I pondered the situation throughout the day (it continually came to mind as I choked on the odor) I found a lot of lessons to be learned. So here is what the "parable of the burned popcorn" taught me today:

1) Even with vast amounts of smoke not one of our smoke detectors went off. Time to check the batteries. These are the kinds of things that we tend to put off or just forget to think about don't we? But early warning can save your life in an emergency. I am grateful today that this was not an electrical fire that happened while we were sleeping. Could have ended much differently. So this was a good reminder.
2) When I pulled the microwave apart to try to clean it I discovered that underneath the turntable the bottom was completely corroded and rusted out to the metal (we didn't check this in the walk through). Upon more careful inspection I noticed a few other questionable safety issues as well so the microwave was therefore consigned to the trash bin. Perhaps had the popcorn not burned we would have continued to use it for a long time. And it was likely not safe to do so. So what initially seemed like a bad thing actually alerted us to a bigger problem. Life is funny that way isn't it? Guess we need to learn to roll with the hard times and have faith that we will ultimately be blessed.
3) I ran over to the grocery store in the afternoon and forgot to change my shirt before leaving. I did not realize until I was standing in the school supplies isle that I absolutely REEKED of smoke. I had been smelling it all day so I guess I had stopped noticing to some degree. But when the woman next to me kept giving me funny looks I was suddenly quite conscious of my unsavory aroma. She undoubtedly assumed that I was a very heavy smoker which amused me since I have never smoked a cigarette in my life. The lesson I learned has nothing to do with the hazards of smoking however, but more to do with being careful of first impressions. Things are not always as they seem. The lady at the store would not have immediately thought..."oh they must have burned popcorn at their house today", even though that was exactly what had happened. I wonder how often I make assumptions about people that are simply false and if I knew the real story I would view them entirely differently? When someone is speeding and cuts you off on the road it is easy to assume they are a self centered jerk. Maybe they are. But what if you knew that their wife was just in a serious accident and was in critical condition at the hospital? Wouldn't you just try hard to get out of the way so they could hurry past? Totally different mindset even though their actions remained the same. So I think it is important to always give others the benefit of the doubt and presume good things. Innocent until proven guilty right?
4) The most important lesson I learned today is this: Kids have to learn. Our job as parents is to teach them what we can. Work with them. And then get out of the way and let them practice. Critical to this process is allowing them to make mistakes. It is easy on days like this to want to say "I will just do it myself from now on". It would be easier in so many ways wouldn't it? There would be less mess. Things would get done just the way we like them to. Our way is far more reliable than their way in almost every instance. But the trouble is if we never let a person try (and sometimes fail) than they can never progress. I feel that a home is a training ground for kids. That is one of the most important functions of the family unit. To help young people grow into responsible adults. But I fear that in too many homes these days helicopter parents and nannies are performing functions that kids could very well do for themselves. My kids swear that most of their friends have no chores. They may be right. So many homes have housekeepers and yard services instead of the family doing these jobs together. Don't get me wrong. I think these things are fine. But we do need to remember that if we do not teach our children to do these household tasks and let them learn through experience than they will have no idea how to care for themselves and their property when they move out of the house. I may get a housekeeper once a month to help me out, but need to teach my kids during the other three weeks. If we do not educate them about money through an allowance program they will not magically know how to manage it at age 20. If we don't let them help us in the kitchen or with the laundry they will struggle finding routines to live by in their first apartments. There will absolutely be mistakes...clothes that shrink that were not supposed to be put in the dryer, too much salt in the pot roast that makes it inedible, whatever. But I would far rather they make these errors while still at home so I can help them figure out solutions and correct whatever things they did not understand so they can improve the next time around. Baby steps toward independence. That is the goal. But in the process of raising a confident, assertive, self sufficient young lady I am going to have to deal with a little burned popcorn now and then. It's well worth it.
I am grateful today for a little girl whose heart was in the right place...trying to make a treat for her brother. And I am grateful for the lessons that life's unexpected messes can teach me.

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