Pain

Things that went right today:

1) Found solace in prayer and fasting

2) Stomach flu is gone

3) Treadmill repaired

4) Both kids did well in the cross country meet

Sometimes even as a grateful person you have a bad day. And sometimes you have days when pain cuts so sharply that you can barely breathe. Today I am mindful of some friends of mine who are suffering. To protect their privacy I will keep details to a minimum but we have one family we know who is in the midst of a bitter custody fight to keep the beloved son they adopted over a year ago. We have friends who have a young son with severe injuries. We have several friends fighting serious diseases and one sweet friend whose husband appears to be losing his battle with cancer. All around us there is pain. Divorce, infertility, hunger, loneliness, illness, job loss, abuse, addiction, moving, death. Sometimes we hurt because of our own personal trials and sometimes our hearts ache on behalf of someone we love who is hurting. Sorrow seems to be ever present in our lives in one form or another and it leaves no soul untouched. We all experience it at different times and in a myriad of ways, but yet it seems to be a universal part of the human experience. We may feel tempted to rage at God and wonder why he would allow us to suffer if he loves us. We may harbor anger at others who we feel have caused our problems. Sometimes depression rears it's ugly head and we fear that hope for future happiness is lost. We know all of the platitudes don't we? Be strong, have faith, lean on your friends, count your blessings, time heals all things. Every one of them is absolutely true. But the key is in the timing. While it is a fact that things will almost always get better, they do not always feel so good right this minute. Tomorrow is another day for joy but it is still o.k. to cry today. I think we tend to fight pain. We try to drown it out or make it go away when perhaps we ought to let it in and allow ourselves to feel what we feel. Embrace it even. Dare I say be grateful for it? Yes! I will go out on a limb and say that you can even be thankful for pain. Now don't misunderstand me here. Would I say to any of the friends I mentioned above that they should be happy about the situations they are facing right now? Of course not. None of us welcome these kinds of things nor should we disrespect them. Trials can often have lifelong impacts so to try to minimize them would be both unrealistic and unfair. So why would I say then that I am grateful for pain even in a general sense? Because I believe that it is closely connected to joy. They are relatives so to speak, and one is not complete without the other. Would we ever really be able to comprehend happiness if we had never felt it's opposite? For happiness truly is the absence of sadness and I submit to you that if you had not experienced both states of being than neither would have the same relevance. "Light" has no meaning except in its relationship to "darkness". Could you have an "up" if there wasn't a "down"? The law of opposites is inescapable. For so many principles one state of being would simply cease to exist without a counter state to oppose and define it. So it is pain then that allows us to also have joy and for this I am thankful. I also think that pain offers us a reminder of so many other tender emotions that we cherish. We would not shed tears for a friend if we did not feel compassion. We would not mourn the loss of our dear ones if we had not had the great privilege of loving them. By allowing the pain in we also are encircled by the positive emotions that are kin to it and are comforted by them. Often in pain we gain a greater understanding of who we really are, of who our true friends are, and of the love of God as he sends his comforting spirit to soothe our troubled hearts. Pain can show us our weaknesses and also reveal our strengths. It has great power if we use it wisely. But it often takes much patience and time and struggle and endurance to climb the ladder of pain to the joy that is waiting for us at the top. We need to remember though that it is not a race. Tears are healthy and necessary sometimes. We don't always have to be strong. We can let friends and family hold us up until we can stand alone again. We can pray. I dedicate this post to my friends and others who are hurting today. I love you. You are in my prayers this day and always.