Home again

Things that went right today:

1) slept in

2) back to school shopping excitement

3) celebrated my son's 3rd birthday

4) got caught up on mail and emails and phone messages

5) realized I only gained two pounds on the cruise...sweet.

6) hung out with my kiddos that I missed while I was gone.

7) relived the "swaying" of the cruise ship all day...no one told me about this?

On the last day of our trip my daughter announced that she did not want to go home and would rather live her whole life right there on that cruise ship. She suggested we stowaway and find a way to smuggle the rest of the family onto the ship later on... and I will admit I considered it! We had been having such a fabulous time in so many exotic places that it seemed a let down to return to the routine of every day life back home. Not to mention that we had gotten rather spoiled by the unlimited food and maid services. But as we talked we decided that normalcy and mundane routine is essential to our well being. It teaches us self discipline and the value of hard work. It provides a base that the rest of our experiences stem out from. It is comforting in a world of uncertainty to have routines that provide order and stability to our lives. As much as I dislike cleaning house, there is a certain feeling of satisfaction that comes from a job well done and from knowing I was serving my loved ones while I did it. Paying the bills, running the errands, driving kids to practice, making dinner, going to work...day after day after day. It can overwhelm us at times as we feel like hamsters on a wheel doing the same mindless tasks. But these small tasks add up to a life well lived if we do them with a cheerful disposition. Sometimes it is helpful to find ways to make them fun. Tell a child to clean a room and you will usually get grumpy faces and dragging feet. But tell them you are playing a "fire drill" game to see who can clean up the fastest and the response changes dramatically. Turn a car trip to soccer practice into an opportunity to ask your teenager about their day. They will often open up to you more in a car where the environment is more casual. Whatever you can think of to take those ordinary tasks and squeeze more joy from them...do it! But remember that the ordinary provides the contrast to make other things feel special. That cruise ship too would have started to feel mundane eventually had we stayed long enough. It was special because it was a break from the usual. So let's give the ordinary run of the mill the respect it deserves! Today I am grateful that we clicked our ruby red heels together and said "There is no place like home"... because surrounded by my family this ordinary life is pretty wonderful.

at sea

Things that went right today:
1) early morning run on the treadmill looking out at the ocean
2) attempted the rock wall...failed 2/3 of the way up but had fun trying
3) NAP!
4) watched a napkin folding demonstration.
5) judged the men's belly flop competition...yikes!
6) more quality time with my daughter...the main reason I am here on this cruise.
7) off to a show and the last dinner with our new friends


One of the passengers from our cruise was killed yesterday evening in a freak accident out on one of the excursions. On our way back to the ship we passed his wife, hysterical in the throws of grief and it really shook us up. The crew was doing all they could to comfort and sedate her but there was no mistaking her shock and pain and when you witness that it cuts deeply into your heart. My thoughts naturally turned to my own husband and family and how grateful I am am to have each of them in my life. My 18 year old DS who touches my life with music and great faith, My 17 year old DS who amazes me with his athletic ability and keen studied focus on things that interest him, my 15 year old DD and her compassion for animals and her friendship with me, My 13 year old DS and his never ending willingness to be helpful and offer fellowship to others, My 10 year old DD and her sunny disposition and desire to be obedient and kind, my 8 year old DS and his quick wit and willingness to learn and try new things, my 5 year old DS and his innocence and love for all super heroes which inspires me to try to be one myself, My 3 year old DS and his sense of humor and happy impish smile that makes my heart melt even when he is into trouble, and my 1 year old DS who loves to cuddle with Mommy and play peek-a-boo to make me smile. My life is richer and fuller because of each and every one. I cannot imagine this world anymore without them in it. And how could I say enough about my sweet husband who has helped me build and maintain this family "zoo" for the past 22 years? I have almost no memories in my adult life that don't include him in some way. How could I even begin to measure the influence he has had on shaping my personality and enriching my life? He is my best friend and I love and admire him greatly. I believe that joy is very much centered on love and that love is based on gratitude. I think the moment we realize we truly love someone is the moment we recognize how grateful we are for them and their place in our world. When we celebrate the good in them and forgive the bad. When we strive to build their strengths and are understanding of their weaknesses. When the day seems brighter because they are a part of it. When making them happy makes us feel good too. I am thankful this day for the reminder of how precious my family is to me. I pray for the lovely woman who lost her husband that she will be given the strength and comfort she needs to get through this. Sometimes we lose those we love very unexpectedly and other times it is a long process of saying goodbye, but in either case I think it takes us by surprise when the time comes. Shouldn't we live every day as if it could be the last?...if we love someone TELL them. If we have hurt someone...let's make it right. If we are carrying a grudge..let's forgive. After all...at the end of the day, love is all that really matters.

Jamaica

Things that went right today:

1) swimming with a dolphin named Calypso...amazing. What beautiful animals.
2) Climbed up Dunn River Falls....not the side of it..right up the middle rock climbing. Fun adventure
3) beautiful weather even though storms had been in the forecast
4) interacting with the Jamaican people...delightful
5) fantastic ice show on the ship. I still cannot wrap my mind around an ice rink

on a boat.

6) spending time with my daughter

Jamaica was so much fun. So much beauty and yet you were very aware of the problems that exist there. We saw men with machine guns and everything was hidden behind electrified fences. You could not forget that day to day life in Jamaica was not the vacation we were experiencing. It is a hard life filled with poverty and often danger. But in the midst of that reality the thing I noticed about the Jamaican people that I met was their laughter and smiles. They are a very friendly engaging people who love to play. They seem to take life at a slower pace. They enjoy it moment by moment. This is proof to me of something my soul has always known...that happiness does not come from having more money. It does not come from advanced degrees, or brand name clothing. It does not even come from having enough to eat or running water. Many things in life can certainly make us more physically comfortable and I am grateful in my life to have many creature comforts available to me. But in Jamaica I saw that comfort does not equal happiness. Happiness must therefore come from another place? But where? I believe it is centered in our hearts and spirits. Joy comes from interacting with people and learning to love. Joy comes from faith in a higher power and a sense of our place in the universe and a purpose for our existence. Joy comes from viewing the world around us and feeling grateful for it's gifts be they large or small. Joy comes from seeing things through the filter of happiness and thankfulness and refusing to allow the darkness in. When we do this we can have joy in a mansion in Palm Springs or in the poorest hut in the tropics. I am grateful this day for the bright countenances of the beautiful Jamaican people and for the reminder .."Don't worry...be happy man"

haiti

Things that went right today:

1) zip line over the ocean...conquered my fear of heights and enjoyed "flying"
2) parasailing...gorgeous view of the jungle and mountains
3) nap in a hammock by the beach
4) saw jellyfish swimming by our boat
5) swam in warm clear Carribean waters
6) haggled with the locals over some trinkets
6) spent time with my 15 yo. daughter.

What a contradiction Haiti is. You hear the tales of the poverty and crime, but it is one of the most serene settings I have experienced. We were in Port Labadee which admittedly is separated from the trouble areas and kind of an "imaginary" world, but when parasailing we had an ariel view of the island and it was breathtaking. Majestic mountains, lush greenery. "Flying" up there is was so quiet and peaceful that my heart was filled with awe at the beauty God has given us. How often we miss it. I remember one day in college at BYU for instance I was particularly stressed with schoolwork and was walking to class all hunched over hurrying to get from place A to place B. I was feeling rather "rushed" and miserable. Suddenly a whispering of the spirit came to me that said "Look up". And so I raised my head and saw an incredible sight. The rocky mountains that surround the campus there are magnificent. I completely rocked back on my heels that day when I saw the sun rising over the mountain tops and the perfect cumulus clouds. It was like a painting. Hardly seemed it could be real it was so beautiful. Birds were flying overhead and now I noticed they were singing. It was a perfectly peaceful moment in the midst of a busy day. Taking that moment to regroup changed the tone of the rest of the day for me, and I have reflected back on it many times since. God has given us so much beauty to enhance and bless our lives. It surrounds us all the time and yet too often we are like horses with blinders on and race past it without fully seeing. Take the time to stop and listen to the sounds of nature. The bubbling of a brook or a cricket's song. Stop for a moment and allow yourself to feel the warmth of the sun on your face or catch a snowflake on your tongue. Slow down and feel the velvet of a rose petal. Breathe in and smell the lilacs or the ocean breeze. Savor the taste of raspberries freshly picked. Look up and see the stars or a weeping willow blowing softly in the breeze. These are God's gifts and they fill the soul with joy. It only takes a second to open your heart to the world around you and allow it to lift you up.

Flying Lessons

What went right today:

1. Slept in...bliss.

2. Spent the day packing for my first cruise. Mother/daughter Carribbean vacation with my teenager. We have not done much international travel so this is a huge thing for us.

3. Manicure/pedicure...again bliss. My reward to myself for losing twenty pounds this past three months.

4. Hearing the sound of my children laughing. Nothing better.

Last week's trip to see my son meant two airplane trips (there and back) - and two crazy tales. Both of them taught me about gratitude in different ways.

On our trip out things were running along smoothly. We had boarded the plane and taxied out to the runway. We sat there for quite some time before the announcement was made that there was something wrong with the right engine and it would not engage. They were troubleshooting. After about a half hour of that they announced that it was more serious than they could handle alone and were calling in a specialized mechanic. They took us back to the terminal and we all went back to the waiting area for what turned out to be about a 5 hour wait. Certainly not what we had been expecting, but not the end of the world as we knew it either. Watching the passengers became an interesting psychological study however. There were some who were really upset. Probably in many cases for good reason. Perhaps they were going to miss an important event or a connecting flight. They were the ones who charged up to the attendant to loudly complain and make demands. The attendants did the best they could to help them find alternate flights or issued food vouchers to make their wait more comfortable. I could not help but note though that, as usual, the person taking the brunt of their frustration was in no way to blame for the situation. As if the attendant there had personally damaged the plane? Or could fix it? As much as they tried to help they could not make a broken plane fly on time. So all of that fussing essentially did no good at all other than to pass their anger onto someone else. Seems like a waste of all of that emotion to me. Other passengers were less overt but I will call them the "grumblers". No ranting and raving from them but a slow and steady spew of murmurings for the entire 5 hours. They engaged other passengers in their game as if that would somehow make the situation more bearable to endlessly rehash the obvious. The illusion is that if we talk a lot about a situation that we are doing something about it. But yet the plane still did not fly. Once again the grumblers did nothing positive other than to maintain a sour disposition for the entirety of the ordeal. And to spread their dark humor to anyone else who had the misfortune of sitting nearby. Both of the above are common responses when a frustrating situation is presented to us. But neither are effective in the least toward solving the problem. It makes sense to get aggressive at times I think, if there will be a positive result that comes from it. But some problems just cannot be solved that way. Some problems simply need to be accepted and patiently endured...no way around it. So what then? What about when we have no control? Well, why not smile? Why not see the positive? It can't hurt right? My husband and I and the third group of passengers chose to say, "well this is not what we planned for today BUT aren't we glad they discovered the problem with the engine while on the runway rather than once we were air born. Being delayed is no big deal when compared with the chance of a plane crash is it? Perspective, perspective, perspective. Soooo...since we are stuck here and cannot change that what can we do to make it better?" We played games on our iphones, grabbed a bite to eat, and then took a long walk around the airport looking at the gallery of photographs displayed in every terminal. There were amazing shots of various places in the United States. We saw the Grand Tetons, a farm in Vermont with fall colors on the trees, the St. Louis arch..etc. The photos were beautiful; and there were a couple hundred of them. It occurred to us that someone had spent a lot of time and money to put that whole gallery together and probably only a handful of people had ever had the time to walk around and see it all. We were the lucky ones. We discovered many new places we want to visit too. Sometimes the unexpected brings blessings we could not have foreseen and we had a lot of fun that day wandering around. We finally did board the plane and got on our way but I will tell you...the passengers from the first two groups looked worn out and miserable. The grateful few were happy and refreshed from the break. It was the exact same situation for all of us but the outcome of our attitudes was vastly different. It made me decide right then and there to choose to be happy. Because indeed it is a choice. Always!

Our flight home was on schedule and running along smoothly. I think we even commented that it was going much better than the last one had. Never should have said that though because I think we jinxed it. About half way across the country we unexpectedly encountered the worst turbulence I have ever experienced on a flight. The pilot told us later as we were walking toward baggage claim that it was the worst turbulence HE had ever experienced as well. It took the flight crew totally by surprise and went on for about 5 minutes. That does not sound like a very long time but believe me when you are terrified it feels like forever. This turbulence involved several 'weightless" drops and lots of shaking where you had the distinct impression that the pilot was struggling to maintain control of the aircraft. Total silence from the cockpit too which was eerie...no reassuring words for us. Just a lot of swaying and dropping. Many passengers screamed and all of us tried to stay as calm as we could. But it was scary. I think it was in everyone's mind that the plane might actually go down. And when that thought comes you feel very helpless because there is not a single thing you can do about it. My husband said he wondered what would happen to our kids since we both were on the plane. I don't think I coherently thought about anything...just kept a vice grip on my husband's arm and prayed a lot. Eventually the pilot was able to get us out of the trouble spot and things stabilized. He then came on the intercom and said he hoped no one was hurt. I don't think anyone was. But my hands kept shaking for a very long time after that. And that is when I began to think again. Once again perspective is the key word. Suddenly when faced with possible sudden death priorities shift instantly. Most of the things I had been worrying about at the beginning of that day did not seem to matter much anymore. So many things I was wasting energy and emotion on were really insignificant in the grand scheme of things. I wanted only to get home and hug my kids and tell them I loved them. I was grateful for all of my blessings. I was thankful for another day to live. Why does it have to take a near plane wreck to feel like that though? Why do we let so many little things weigh us down? I am trying to learn this lesson in my life. Let the little stuff go. It really doesn't matter. So next time I feel stressed I mean to ask myself...if I was in a plane about to go down, would I care about this at all??? And if the answer is no...well then it is not worth getting worked up over. This experience also made me feel intense gratitude for the skills of others and the training they have gone through to make our lives better. Thank you to that pilot for pulling us through so we all had another day to be thankful for.