Fire Drill

Things That Went Right Today:

1) Up early to greet the day
2) Air conditioner broken...grateful for the rain that cooled down the house
3) New garbage disposal goes in this morning.

We woke up yesterday morning to the blaring sound of our smoke alarms going off all over the house. We saw no flames and smelled no smoke, but when I was unable to figure out the cause I ushered the kids outside and called the fire department and told them what was going on. They sent out a crew who checked things out and finally determined that there was a weird short in this old alarm system that we had never activated in the ten years we had lived here.   We didn't even think it worked, but it seems that when one unit goes awry it sets off the alarms in the whole system. Anyway, I felt kind of embarrassed to have had the fire fighters come out when there wasn't even a real fire, but they were very kind and assured me I had done the right thing by calling. My little boys thought it was very exciting to see the trucks pull into the cul-de-sac, and this time it turned out to be only a fire drill thankfully. But it was definitely a wake up call. We are spending some time this week revamping our family fire safety plan and installing some new alarms.  I would encourage each of you to do the same.

But the most important thing I was reminded of yesterday was that people are all that counts. Stuff doesn't matter a bit. After I made sure all of the kids and pets were safely outside, I went back into the house to grab anything else I was worried about losing, just in case. It was funny...I wandered around aimlessly for a few minutes before realizing that there really wasn't a single thing inside worth going to heroic efforts for. That everything that I truly cared about was already standing outside. We have nice furniture, knick knacks, etc that we like a lot. But if we lost it all I realized it would be inconvenient, but not earth shattering. It's just things. All replaceable. Of monetary value only. So I walked out of the house with only my purse, knowing that no matter what happened I could be at peace. I am thankful today for the service of the local fire department to my family and to the community each and every day. I am thankful that this turned out to be nothing more than a minor problem this time. And I'm thankful for the reminder that even if all of my earthly possessions disappeared in a sudden tragedy, that all would still be right with the world if my family was by my side.

Focus

Things That Went Right Today:

1) Pirates of the Carribean...great movie
2) Jillian Michaels 30 day shred...ouch...but in a good way
3) Starting work on a book with my son.

My son is a talented photographer. He has the tools and expertise necessary to take an ordinary scene and focus your attention on one single aspect of it, like in the photo above. He's tried to explain to me how to do it. I've heard words like aperture and exposure etc, but I still have no idea how to take anything but a regular picture.  Ryan's practiced eye sees things differently than mine though.  I would have looked down at the view and seen a bunch of kids running around campus. But he saw one thoughtful young girl trying to have a peaceful moment in a sea of chaos. He wanted others to see what he saw, so he honed in on just her. So even though the rest of the people in the picture are still visible and remain present, our focus is only on the girl in the pink...wondering what she is thinking or feeling. The story is about her alone. The rest became background only. A photographer's ability to capture a vision like this comes from study, patience, having the right equipment and most of all from practice.  Trying various techniques over and over until you figure out what works and what doesn't. Until creating great shots becomes almost instinctual.

The focus feature on my life's internal lens is thankfulness. It is the tool I use to take the craziness of life and zoom in on the parts I choose to pay the most attention to. Doing this doesn't make problems go away or mean that you ignore them. They are still there as background and are dealt with as needed. But it helps me draw out the beautiful and wonderful things contained in each day. Fade out the rest somewhat and see with different eyes. Just like photography, this takes patience and practice. At first this lifestyle can feel a little forced or awkward if you are accustomed to the negative ruling your emotions. It requires a conscious effort to retrain our vision until it becomes habitual to allow the happiness and gratitude in. The more you do it, the more natural it will feel. The easier it will be to get back on track if you have a hard day. You'll see the good in things more readily and frequently.  And you'll be more capable of conveying that vision to the people you come in contact with as well.

My challenge to all of us this week, including myself, is to think in your mind's eye of a photo lens and try to capture a new vision of whatever is happening around you. Focus in on the blessings or positive aspects of any situation and see how much better you feel.

Breathe in - Breathe out!

Things That Went Right Today:

1) Went for a run on a cool morning.
2) The sound of my little boys laughing in the other room.
3) Mint and chocolate together.


All this talk about counting your blessings...focusing on the positive...being happy and full of faith no matter what...Loving unconditionally....It only works for people who have no real problems right? I must talk like this because I've never really known suffering. If I had been through any actual hard stuff I would feel differently right? That's an easy way to think sometimes when we are hurting. That no one else could possibly understand what we are going through. That our particular problems are too big to just "think positive" and make them go away. That all those happy people out there wouldn't be if they had experienced what we have.

I'm here today to promise you that gratitude is for everyone. In fact, the bigger your problems are the more power it is likely to have in your life. The more of a compelling force it can become and the more of a healing balm it can be.

I am no stranger to pain. My parents divorced when I was young and I had a very abusive step father for ten years. Thankfully now my Mom is married to a wonderful, kind, loving man, but those years were rough.  I have seen addiction and alcohol slowly destroy many people that I love. Currently I am in the middle of some extremely difficult personal circumstances. Both physically and emotionally. I don't talk about them much, because I am making the CHOICE to let thankful living be the driving force in my heart, and therefore in my life. It is a daily decision to turn toward the positive and embrace joy. Some days it is easier to accomplish that than others. There are mornings when I wake up wondering how I am going to do it that day. Being a grateful person doesn't mean you never cry. It doesn't mean you never feel sorry for yourself or have a tantrum. It doesn't mean you never get overwhelmed, or upset, or angry, or make mistakes or say the wrong thing. It doesn't mean you never feel doubt or fear. It doesn't mean you go into denial about the reality of people or situations, and just hum a happy tune to cover them over. Thankful living is far more than that. It is about truly changing your heart. Creating the tools you need to overcome hardship with strength and dignity. To stand back up whenever you fall down, and then turn and lift others as well. To keep trying when you want to quit. To say, "I'm sorry" when you mess up, and offer forgiveness too.  It's about learning to tap into your own inner voice that speaks with calmness and faith. To remain vulnerable rather than put up walls. To see the rainbows instead of just the rain.  It's about accepting that pain is a universal part of the human condition. It touches everyone. We cannot deny that or completely avoid it. The trick in this life is to learn to live through it. To love through it. To laugh through it too. The problems will exist whether we laugh or cry. So why not laugh?

Some days the stars just align and all goes well. Gratitude springs from within us easily on days like these. But what about the times when everything feels wrong? How do you choose gratitude on a day like that? What about if you are injured, or heartbroken, or exhausted, or facing severe challenges? What about the days when you cannot think of anything that went right at all?

Stop and pause for moment. Clear your mind. Breathe in - breathe out. Go outside and feel the sun on your face if you can. Listen to the sounds of nature. Drink in the beauty around you. What if it's cloudy? Find someone you love and give them a hug then. But what if you're alone? What if...what if...what if...what if all you can do is breathe? Then just do that. In and out. Deep breaths. Calming your spirit. Don't think about anything at all for a time. Tomorrow is another day. Today just breathe in - breathe out. Be still. In that stillness clarity comes. Don't try to force gratitude. Be still and let it come to you. In that quiet state, focusing on simply breathing, answers will come. Happy thoughts will suddenly surprise you.  Hope will dawn. Patience and peace too. Just breathe and let thankfulness flow in on its own. This gets easier every time you do it.  I promise.

Middle Aged

Things That Went Right Today:

1) Big birthday hug from my 6 year old this morning
2) Well wishes from dear friends. Thank you all.
3) Going out to dinner tonight. No need to cook.

Ok so I read this morning that the average life expectancy in the United States is 78 years old. Today is my 43rd birthday, so I guess that makes me officially middle aged. Yikes!!! When the heck did THAT happen? A couple years ago my son called me old. I argued that I was no such thing and he said, "Mom...when you were my age, would YOU have thought you were old?" UM...reality check. Yeah, I guess I would have. Hmmmm. Who knew? Middle aged just isn't as old as I used to think it was.  Perspective is a funny thing isn't it? ;-)

I am grateful today day for another year to be alive. For friends and family that love and support me. Excited to see what this next year holds in store. I hope by age 44 to have a couple of books out in print and my website fully launched and thriving.  To finally figure out youtube! To be actively sharing the gratitude lifestyle with others in broader ways. To be fully living it every single day myself too and reaping all the joy it brings with it.

 It would be tempting to go back and be 23 again and have that youthful body and energy level. But I wouldn't want to give up the wisdom I have gained with time and experience. It's also interesting to think about beaming ahead to a time when I will travel more and have less daily responsibility on my shoulders. But yet, I wouldn't want to miss a thing. So I am contented today to be exactly where I am. The message of this blog is to be thankful for THIS day! Here and now. Blessings and troubles all weaving together into the life I am blessed to live right this very minute. Dreaming big dreams. Learning new things. Play and laughter a priority. Loving and serving others. Learning to roll with the punches.  43 is awesome!!! Middle aged is a wonderful place to be. Bring on the cake!!!

Bend, Bounce and Spin

Things That Went Right Today:

1) Going to see "Hoodwinked" tonight with the kids.
2) Mani/ pedi later!
3) Love the new goodwill drop off boxes all over town. So much more convenient than calling them and waiting for them to pick up.

I'm trying to convey some life lessens to my children that I believe will help them throughout their lives. So for the past several months we've had a family motto posted on the wall of our kitchen:

Bend, Bounce and Spin

BEND: When the wind blows and the rains come, it is not always the tallest trees or those with the largest trunks that stand. The trees that survive the storms are those that are able to bend, absorb the impact and sway through it. Flexibility is an important trait for people too. So much of what happens to us in this life is beyond our control. While holding fast to our core principles, we need to learn to bend when necessary - to adjust to new realities as they come along and make course corrections as needed. Life is an adventure...keep swaying and you won't break.

BOUNCE: Sometimes, no matter what we do, things will happen in our lives that will knock us down for a time. The trick is in always striving to bounce back when that happens. On the trampoline, putting all of our energy into getting a good bounce can send us soaring higher than we've ever been before. It can be a little scary sometimes, but so much more fun than sitting in a heap on the ground. So when life brings you down, put some muscle into bouncing back - these are the times to FLY!

SPIN: Whatever your circumstance, there is almost always a way to put a positive spin on it if you try. Rainy day? The moisture is feeding the flowers so they will bloom brighter tomorrow. Illness or loss? You are learning compassion for others. Unexpected move? A new adventure. The other day in the car I was feeling frustrated and griping that I was so busy that day running a ton of errands when I had other things I felt I ought to be doing instead. But then I thought...no Laura...turn that thought around - you are lucky to have such an active vibrant life surrounded by so many people you love. This keeps you busy, but would you rather be bored? Nope - sure wouldn't. Suddenly I felt blessed rather than overwhelmed, just by taking that moment to turn the thought around and see the situation in a new way. Sometimes you have to reach a little to find the silver lining, but with practice you get better at it.  It's always there if you train your mind and heart to see it!